Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Eating away at my self-worth.

Hi. I miss this.


It hurts knowing that no matter how much you desperately want to help, you don't make a difference. The discovery is something soul-destroying. It's the flat, awful truth.

That's what you get for admiring a rock star.



16 comments:

gnothi seauton said...

Thankyou for your comment, I've missed you all.


Your current post is heart breaking. Take consolation from the fact that unlike others, you want to help and have done everything that you can to achieve that end. That's all that can be asked of anyone.

Take care sugar, see you in the ether.

JocelynHolly said...

CTV, I love you dearly, and I know how you feel. You desperately want to lend out a helping hand, but you have no fucking clue how to do it!

Dude, I love you, and I hope that you do well on your studies! I believe in you, to the end.

-007
<3

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your kind words; they are heard more than you know.

Don’t ever let anyone else lessen your feelings of self-worth. Wanting to help someone is a great thing but when that person won’t allow or accept your help, that’s not your fault. If they do let you help, know that you really can make a difference in their life.

I can tell you have a good heart. Sometimes having a good heart can cause it to hurt that much more but it can also cause all the good feelings to be that much better. Don’t let go of that.

Original Punk J said...

CTV, Thank you for your well-wishes for my surgery. It means more to me than you will ever know.

And I do understand your post. You feel like you are standing on one side of a two-way mirror, screaming your lungs out and gesturing with your hands to stop, but knowing they can't see you.

Listen to the Anon, above though. I have a feeling he knows what he is talking about. :)

It is true. Words get through more than you know, even quiet ones or whispered ones. You never know when that one sentence can make a difference. Don't ever stop caring.

Take care, sweetie.

Love,
Lisa

capture this void said...

Thank you so much, all of you.

dei gratia said...

Thank you, sweetie.
It means a lot that you said that!

I understand what you mean;sometimes you just can't bear to look anymore and feel helpless.

Where would we all be if no-one tried anymore?

Maybe one day we'll work out if and how!

sister midnite said...

*hugz*

Because your post makes me feel like you need them. :(

Anonymous said...

Of course someone cares.

Im sorry that I can offer you nothing but my words. It doesn't seem like enough. Just know that I am thinking of you and hoping you are doing better.

Amyranth said...

It hurts knowing that no matter how much you desperately want to help, you don't make a difference.

Maybe not to that one person. I am a firm believer that even when your heart is breaking, you should share a smile with someone. You may say or do one little thing that prevents them from doing something horrible to themselves or someone else.

Just because the change isn't visible, doesn't mean you shouldn't keep on keepin' on.

-A

anima said...

CTV, thank you so much for the message you left me at my place but also at Mayo's. You are so amazingly thoughtful.....I am speechless.

You care so much about others, do not ever doubt your self-worth. Your kind-heartedness is seen by everyone. Even if you think you are not making a difference...you are. I promise.

You too deserve all the things wonderful in life, don't you ever forget it.

Much love to you,
Anima

Anonymous said...

Don't worry!

I did not want to start any drama or to appear as an attention whore.
Another lesson learned.
Nothing has changed.
I thought some had removed their blindfolds too.
Well, blindness can be really comforting, can't it?

elena said...

CTV

You are a kind hearted person and that shows. Never believe your words aren't heard. They are!

resurrected wreck said...

I know how you feel.

And thank you so much for your birthday wishes at my blog tonight, Pony Boy :)

*squeezes*

Anonymous said...

It's been a good long while since I've visited you, CTV. And I hate that.

And, this post? It's gut-wrenching. And there's absolutely nothing we can do even though we wish we did. I guess we just band together and ride it out. See where it takes us. Maybe that will lead us to the answer. Maybe that will help him.

Also, your post to Mayo and SS was amazing. It's been awhile since we shared feelings like that. It's amazing what we've all helped build here, and your post summed it up perfectly.

See you around, CTV. Hang in there, okay?

Original Punk J said...

CTV,

Just a small note to let you know that J. and I both are glad we have got to know you and count you as not only our friend, but our Family. We're sorry about your grades, but you tried your best, and that is what is important. Just don't give up.

Love,
L. and J.

MissTottenham said...

CTV, you know that your wifey loves you so much.

I have missed you babes.

You are so important to many people here. Don't ever think otherwise.

I love you.